Reflections
by xenowriter
Summary: Jaal X Fem Ryder. This is set for the same as Awakening. After the flagship run in with Archon, Celeste Ryder and Jaal are conflicted. Will this hinder their relationship?


Reflections

Celeste sat upon her bed in her private quarters aboard the Tempest. She hugged her knees to her chest and cried gently. The last mission aboard the Archon's flagship was almost too much for her to take. All the involvement with the Kett. The species they first encountered in Andromeda and the last for her father. "Sam, replay my dad's last recording before the purge on Habitat 7." She needed to hear his voice again.

" _Replaying recording…now_ ," The AI executed the order.

There was a quick pause and then her dad's voice came through the room's speakers. " _There's hope at least_."

" _That's all anyone back on the arc is looking for_ ," Her own words replied. " _Hope that it will work out._ " The term made a chill go through her body. She knew what would happen next.

" _Well, not if we stand around looking at sunsets. Let's get back to the shuttle and-"_ The recording continued.

"Halt!" Celeste spoke out quickly. Her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She didn't want to hear the rest. She knew what would happen. How she wished she could go back in time and warn him about the vault's purge protocol. If he was still alive then he would be the Pathfinder instead of her and maybe things would have gone a lot smoother. Sure, she did achieve an outpost on Eos and Voeld, but by now, maybe they would have had their "golden world." Maybe her dad would have known how to take out the Kett and the Archon. The Archon…the topic of the day in their last crew debrief. Her mind flashed to her capture. The way the alien being looked at her, the way he placed his hands on her body when he was studying her. Could it be just like Drack described? "No," She chuckled lightly to herself. "That crazy old Krogan is delusional." Then again, the way the Archon ran his eyes over her form was intriguing. No one ever looked at her that way.

Reaching behind her head, she gingerly traced her fingertips along the injection site. The skin was not swollen, yet slightly tender. Lexi checked it once onboard for infection. Her mind raced to when she was helping Jaal and the angaran on Voeld at the Kett facility. Seeing the Cardinal inject one helpless angaran victim with some type of serum that instantly transform it into Kett. Would she have the same fate? So far, nothing. Lexi assured her after some lab work that the injection didn't contain any Kett DNA; but the purpose of the shot was not really clear. The Archon stated to her that the administration of the needle was the "first sample." What did he mean by that?

A soft chime snapped her out of her reflections and she quickly wiped the tears from her face. "Come in." She sat straighter on the bed and grabbed her datapad to look as if she had been studying.

Cora Harper, her second in command, entered the room with her straight posture. Her hands militaristically behind her back. "Mam, we are nearing our approach to Eladeen."

"Thanks, Cora. I guess no time for shore leave," She cracked a smile as best as she could. It was still rough to be in a light hearted mood even though her dad's passing was months ago. Seeing the short haired blonde woman in front of her reminded her of when they were getting ready to board the shuttle to check out Habitat 7.

"I'm sure it will come soon. Everyone needs a break. I guess racing from planet to planet and unlocking vaults is part of the job." Cora took a glance back from the hallway and then back to her commander. She waited for the doors behind to automatically close before she continued, "I wanted to apologize for letting things get out of hand back there."

Tossing the datapad to the side on the bed, Celeste stood back up. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on," Cora laughed. "About what Drack said. That was a bit out of line. I'll talk to him." Her brow became rigid. "Though I think Jaal may be a different story. He seemed really out of it after this last one. Almost as distant like he was when he first came onboard on Aya. Did the Archon say something to him? I didn't see anything in your post mission report."

This statement bewildered Celeste. Surely the encounter with their foe would have brought more fire into him. Not the opposite. She knew he was confused and upset about what happened on Voeld, but Lexi assured her that he finally came around. "I'll go talk to him, Cora. I'm sure it's probably just an angaran thing." She noticed that Cora waited until she was beside her before following her out.

The blonde's step matched with hers perfectly. Celeste knew that being her dad's protégé and not becoming Pathfinder was still taking a toll on Harper even after her revelation on the Asari ark. "Dealing with the Krogan on Eladeen is going to be a task. I can take Jaal's place if you would like. It's going to be different than what you experienced on the flagship."

Celeste stopped to address her concerns. Anybody who didn't know Cora much would have thought she was out of line for voicing her concerns on how to handle the mission to a superior officer without being asked. But she knew Cora's concern was heartfelt and not ambitious to power whatsoever. The red head frowned. "It's bad enough with me being there painted with Initiative colors. I think two of us would be suicidal. I know Drack can keep Morda at bay, but I don't want to press my luck." She bit her lip. "I was hoping Jaal could accompany us. With a non-Milky way species, the Krogan may feel less threatened and offer assistance. Then again…" Celeste sighed, "We don't know if New Tuchanka has had any dealings with the angaran yet."

"I'm sure you will make the right call, Mam," Cora smiled warmly at her. "I'll be tending to my plants if you need me."

Watching the blonde leave made Celeste doubt how much success she would have to turn Jaal back around. He had been a locked book for a while after departing Aya. They were just making headway on Voeld by helping with Resistance until they dealt with the Moshae capture. He plummeted downhill for a while and remained solitaire in his hideaway. Somehow he managed to come around to her and express his feelings towards the Kett evolution. Seeing the intense emotions this being had and the way he fought became alluring to her and she felt herself wanting to spend more time with him off the battlefield. Though, being Pathfinder didn't give her a lot of options and she was brisk away to handle several angaran requests to help keep the peace between them and the Initiative. By doing so, they allowed members from the Nexus to enter Aya. It was another stronghold in Helius.

Heading up the ladder, she crossed the catwalk that led to the science lab area. Normally, Jaal took up refuge there studying all their data and seeing what they could learn more. However, the room was empty. Stumped, Celeste turned around and saw Liam looking at her from his station. "Hey there. You looking for Jaal?"

"Yeah. I need to prep him on the next mission. Do you know where he went?" A beat. "You didn't insult him again did you?"

"No," Liam chuckled. "I learned from my last disciplinary action. My method for interaction went wrong. But if you're looking for him, he's on the lower level. I think he wanted to look at the latest upgrades to the Nomad. We picked up some good mods on Kadara that's for sure."

"Thanks…" Celeste was already in mid-stride. Entering the engine room, she took the lift down to where the cargo hold was at. It was a place to store other things including the Forward Stations and the Nomad.

The purple skinned angaran was kneeling down to examine the undercarriage rear of the Nomad when Celeste approached him. "Getting ready for the next mission?" She asked hopefully as she looked on.

Caught off guard, Jaal rose up quickly and his face became flushed. "I didn't know you were coming down to see me."

"Relax, Jaal. The last one was rough. I want to see how you were doing," The red haired woman lightly patted him on the shoulder.

"Should I be asking you that question? After all, Sam killed you." His voice dark, almost pained. "The Archon didn't have to."

"I trust Sam completely. It was the only way for us to get out. I didn't want to leave you guys captured."

"How foolish of me. Of course," Jaal untensed his body. "I just…I didn't want to see one of my _friends_ fall before me. Too many have been taken by the Kett. I didn't want another tick mark for them." She noticed that he emphasized the word "friends." Was it to imply that was all he saw of her? Or was he just doing that to cover up the true feelings he had? His enigmatic approach sometimes was so frustrating! "Going back to the next mission…I don't think I'm in the frame of mind to assist on this one. I need to reflect on what we experienced. I have sent a message to the Moshae on Aya for guidance. I hope to hear back from her soon."

"I know the angaran are all about 'staying clear' and you hate being frazzled; I get that." She slowed down to choose her next words carefully. Not only did she want him to hear this but she wanted to hear herself say it. "I care about you and I want you to talk to me. Get whatever you have off your chest."

Jaal glanced down at his own chest and looked back at her, dumbfounded. "I'm sorry. My chest? Did I miss the meaning?"

Celeste smiled warmly. "A human saying. Just tell me what's bothering you."

Jaal hesitated and glanced around and took note of the opened storage room. "A private matter?" She got the hint and let him lead the way. She would go at his pace since this was new to him. Once the door closed, she used a container as a seat and waited. Jaal's jaw became clenched and he bawled his fists as he looked down at the floor for words. "The Archon is a monster, Celeste. Do not trust him. I-I don't like how he…um, touched you."

Celeste sighed hard. It had come back to the debrief. "Is it what Drack said? I don't know what's going on. But the Archon and I are not a thing. He wants Meridian and I unlock the vaults. That's it. If anyone would be his type then it would be Peebee. She's obsessed with the Remnant as much he is." Despite her persistently arguing against the concept of her being the Archon's love interest, if in fact the Kett experienced love, the notion did not fully escape her. In fact, when he placed his hands on her skin, she felt her body tingle and her face became flush.

Her denial was not satisfactory. Jaal came up to her and swiftly took her hand in his. His blue eyes staring right into hers. "I mistakenly mistook the Archon to be…to…well perhaps you are not into angaran. I...I may have been wrong about us. I just don't want you to trust him."

"Jaal…" She said his name softly as she squeezed his hand. Her other hand reached out and caressed the side of his face. "Believe me, I have no confusion about us. I have nothing for Kett. Archon included." The angaran leaned in and nuzzled her face softly with this. She could feel his warm breath caressing her cheek. "If the old man is right, then perhaps I could use this weakness against him," Her words playful.

Jaal retracted back swiftly and his face became sterner. "The Archon is cunning, Precious One. He will use your emotions against you. Your deception will be his. You saw what happened to Vehn Terev on Kadara. The Archon played him and tricked him into giving up the Moshae."

Celeste nodded her head in agreement. "Hey, I'll admit that. Sloane executed him too." She leaned forward on the container and held her chin with her hands in deep thought. Throughout her run-ins with the angaran, she heard countless stories about how the Kett tricked them. She had to admit that the Archon was a bit alluring, but he had shown some sort of interest to her. Then again, maybe he did the same with all the others to confuse them. Taking a breath, she slid back onto her feet. "We will deal with the Archon soon enough. But right now, Jaal, I need you on Eladeen. It is going to be dangerous dealing with worked up Krogan who pretty much hate who I am working for. Nonetheless, as an envoy to the Angaran, I can't force you to accompany me."

Jaal remained silent as he looked at with her both of his blue eyes. His face was hard and difficult to read. She wasn't too sure if their chat really helped the situation or not. With a hard breath, he uttered, "Let me think about it, Precious One."

Knowing that was better than no, Celeste accepted the response and made her way back up top. "Dad, so maybe I'm not a smooth talker like you," She laughed lightheartedly to herself.

Hours later, Ryder was the second one to enter the armory. Drack grunted a hello and continued to stock up on his ammo. Celeste hopefully looked around but there was no sign of Jaal's approach. Defeated, she moved back to the door to head over to the escape pod room to grab Peebee, but the angaran's form quickly blocked her path. "Am I too late to join up?" He grinned as he waved to Drack.

"You're late," Drack huffed as he inspected his shotgun.

"Sorry about that," Jaal chuckled. He looked over at the Krogan "A moment, please?"

Drack nodded his head towards the ammo cabinet. "Make sure you grab enough. You are dealing with Krogan and you can never have enough ammo."

Celeste poked the Krogan as he walked by in the arm. "I didn't see you take too much, Drack."

"Heh, I took enough. I know what I'm dealing with. You squishies don't."

Jaal sighed gently after they were left alone. "Celeste, I wanted to tell you about how I feel before we debark. Is that okay?"

The question caught her off-guard. "Uh, sure, Jaal."

Jaal moved in closer and cupped her face gently. "I care a lot for you, Celeste. Each mission I worry about you. However, this last one…" He paused, "I'm afraid the Archon will use our relationship against us. Against me. He is not kind to my species."

"I'll be more careful, Jaal. I promise." She leaned up and lightly kissed the side of his face. "After all I have you watching over me."


End file.
